Momma is to young for this...

Day six

Who ever would have thought the decision to stop nursing would be so hard! Layne is just shy of 18 months old and I honestly thought that would be the perfect time to call the quits. But the 18 month mark sneaks up quite quick. My final decision came when I was put on three very strong steroids. Even with the ok from the doctor I don't feel right taking them and nursing him. I decided the day he turned 18 months would be our cut off date. I hoped I could stick to it, prayed I could stick to it.

That day he went down for a nap with out nursing then I closed the store so I didn't put Layne to bed. That was unexpectedly say one.

Day two came and went too.

Day three he asked by signing more and saying "buhbee" just one and when I said no he didn't fuss.

Day four perfection.

Day five I feel confident we kicked this habit.

Day six hurt. At bed time tonight he sat in my lap and signed more while saying "buhbee" repeatedly. Broke my heart. I said no and we swayed and looked in the mirror like every night. Layer him in his bed and he still signed more and was still requesting his "buhbee". He did finely get that he wouldn't be getting any and switched to "goygoy" wanting every pacifier he owned in bed with him. I kissed him said good night and shut the door behind me.

I never had a problem with Jamie at eight weeks and Gerrett at five months. Maybe I was young, maybe I don't know. Maybe it's harder knowing he is my last baby. I'm just at a loss. This shouldn't be this hard! This shouldn't feel wrong. I shouldn't be feeling like crap about it all.

I'm proud we made it six days, even surprised. And I know now I must be a mess because when I told the story of tonight, day six, to my husband he thought I gave in and did not believe me when I told him I held strong.

I'm praying tomorrow is just as easy if not easier.
Day seven - one week
Bitter sweet bitter sweet