I feel closterfobic... The walls of my life feel like they are closing in... and fast.
I hate being pushed away and forgotten. I am not a priority to anyone, not even myself.
My plans are always broken, also forgotton.
I feel like everyone is always just yelling at me... And none of it is ever for something I did. This is just unfair and it makes me feel even emptier and more alone.
I am scared, I dont even know why...
Wishing I was stronger...
Needing to be more educated...
I need to take that step to being somebody.
Know that I can support the three small wonders who depend on me alone.
Just in case something dramasticly changes.
Planning...Thinking...Wishing...Running...Waiting...Hiding...Pretending...
Pretending is what I am good at, Pretending I am ok, that everything is ok, That I am happy.
That this thing I call life is AMAZING... Tho it is I still feel all this is holding me back from actually enjoying any of it.
I wish I could forget all my trouble and live my life in the momment.
Easier said than done.
Back on to Pretending... ... ...
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