Alone

I am alone.
I hate it!
I hate that it seems my whole famioly is together, weather its in Cadillac, or Vanderbit. and I am here feeling so alone.

I shouldn't I have my littles. And I enjoyed our movie night.
And I know My family needs eachother.
Yet I feel jealous and I hate that I do
I shouldnt!
I should be and I am happy they are together, They need to be.

But I cant help it! I am alone, (everyone sleeping) and I have been for 14 days not.
Im sick of it. I want someone to talk to.
I want/need to get out of here, To have a real conversation

Im breaking once again. I thought I was getting better and I can feel myself unravling again

My family needs eachother. And I am greatful they have eachother close.
I wish I could be there for them, and its killing me I cant.

It breaks my heart I am here so far away.

Im trying to stay strong. Becuz its not about me. But inside its so hard.